What defines us? Not our brains, surely!

And away we go! What is it that makes us women or men? Gay or straight? Feminine or masculine? Or somewhere in between? I'll try to figure this out as a simple-minded citizen. But I wonder just where to start. How I feel? Or from what I see? Or, and this is a question, should I use the available scientific research?

I know! I'll use a little of all three!

Let's see, as you look around you see a bunch of people. What sex are they? What gender? You already know they are female/male, Caucasian or African decent, high voiced or low, long hair or short. Are they gay? Straight? Drag? Trans? Are you sure they are what you see? Or what you hear?

I walk down the street, and I see a person acting very effeminate. Is he gay or drag or just himself? Maybe I'll strike up a conversation, and learn a bit about him, just to find he's an androgyne, and can be very masculine if he so feels a necessity to do so. As he is honest with me, I'll be honest with him, and find a friend to see and spend time with. Here is where I learn about what I see and feel.

I feel this is a good way to learn about my community I live in and interact with. As I see it, when we refuse to find out about a person, we diminish their validity as a human being. Judging a book by it's cover usually leads to misunderstandings which breeds the hatred we face everyday. So I go out to learn about people, and find a rich diversity all around. These are the things I see and feel just living my life.

And now, ladies and gentlemen for the poor person's point of view about the available research on Homosexuality, Transsexuality, and the Intersex born.

The Internet is such an amazing place, with so much information available, it fair to makes my poor little blonde braincells either hurt or go "Huh?". So I read and skim and search and think about what I found out.

Such as the research for the "gay gene". So what? Why do they want to find it? It starts with the thought that if you are born this way, we should be able to find out the cause. Then someone thinks about what it may "look" like. Then they scare me, they think if they can find it, maybe they can fix it "in utero". And I have to ask "Why do they want to fix something that isn't broken?". These are people who are fine just as they are! And have the right to live as they choose.

Then I found out about the Trans research. This was while I was looking up information about my condition. And the research shows...it is very real when one claims to be female/male within their male/female head! The research found that a FtM Transsexual has the same neuron area as a cis-male, and the same for MtF Transsexuals and cis-females. The research is being duplicated in several countries.

And so I come to the research for the Intersex born. And discovered a very angry making thing: many children born with ambiguous or complete pairings of genitalia are being surgically mutilated, usually at the whim of either the Dr. (most often) or one or both of the parents.

I found there are over 200 different forms of Physical/Genetic Intersex Condition, and recent research has found (but not cataloged) a relatively new group of conditions, some they've known about but never associated with the Intersex Condition, listed as Chemical/Genetic Syndromes. Klinefelter's is at the top of the list for the first group, and CAIS/PAIS leads the list for the second group.

CAIS/PAIS: Complete/Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Individuals born under this syndrome don't process Androgen (and sometimes Testosterone) well if at all. I'm fortunate that this isn't me, I think. Mine is basically an endocrine system completely out of balance. One of the things I found, as I was checking over my body before a surgical procedure, was a possible scar right through the area where a woman's labia would be. Infantile Genital Surgery? I can't find out. So. When I started a hormone regimen, over time my endocrine system began to balance out. Now it's being found that a "male" can be genetic and not process Testosterone. This is very similar to CAIS/PAIS, as it can be very debilitating unless a treatment is found. I think my physician stumbled across a regimen that works by accident. Just by treating me as a regular Transwoman. Hey, it works! I'm calmer, happier, and getting my life back together. But I still wonder, did my parent(s) or the Dr. perform a procedure on me?

So, to answer the title: We define ourselves, and our bodies only serve to support that definition.

Can anyone fill Sylvia's Heels?

It's been 30+ years since I first learned of what my soul had been screaming all my life. I learned that what I was (at that time) was called "Transsexual", so I began a program to find and "cure" my affliction. Talking with several people I later called family, I learned what the Dr.'s wanted to hear, rather than what was real. Though the rules of description were close to what I felt, I still tried to explain me to them.

This is also the first time I learned about and got active in creating change. L.A., CA was not very nice to us until a few got back into their faces to make the changes needed to help the legal/medical/social scene begin the process of morphing into a place with a little more safety. During the 3 years I was active, we managed to get ordinances for restroom use, public appearance, and a couple of other needs. Here is where I learned to talk to Mayors, Council-members, and State and Federal Legislators.

And then there's biologic family. And Mother knowing I had a need to make her happy, even to my own detriment. Almost cost me my life. And that shot 7 years. Try #2 never even got as far as finding a psychologist. Got married. No children. Moved across the country to caretake the family property. Vanished there until I started to think again of the "Ultimate I Quit!". And after having my life threatened, coming to Arizona.

Well, I've pretty much come a circle to where now I see alot. Some I see from 30+ years ago with no changes, and some great changes.  And some of what I see are ladies and gentlemen; brothers and sisters; transgenders, transsexuals, and intersex people speaking up.

Talking about wants, needs, desires, responsibilities, and rights. And on rights and responsibilities, I think about all those, living and passed, who have worked so hard to bring the social and political responsibility back to where it belongs. Right here. In our hands.

To answer the question, can anyone fill Sylvia's heels? I say yes. There are a lot of people who have and do on a regular basis. You know who you are, I don't have to name you. Stay the course and keep up the good fight.